K2 is the past, present, and future of sport. And while I don't understand exactly what that means, I'm really excited about the future of sport. I'm pretty sure it will involve missles, rockets, robots, and a whole lot of steel.

(1) The K2 Lotta Luv Ski
Whether skiing hard pack, crud, or soft snow, the versatility and performance of the Lotta Luv is unsurpassed. The MOD Monic and metal laminate construction keep the ski quiet while offering ideal performance for an expert level skier. As an avid skier I can not understate the importance of a quiet ski. My last pair made these weird "shooshing" noises all the time; every time down the mountain it "shoosh", "shoosh", "shoosh". Thank God that's over with now.

(2) The K2 Xplorer Ski
K2 Xplorer - The Xplorer xemplifies xactly what an xtra xtraoridary xtreme xki should do. The Xplorer is a brand new edition of the Apache series, although the name goes back to '97 (back when it was cool to spell words with an x). The Xplorer was and still is the ideal choice for those who not only spend their day searching for fresh turns in the backcountry but also laying down arcs on the groomers. The 84mm waist and generous 17/16 progressive sidecut perform well on both soft and hard conditions. The Titan Metal Laminate construction, MOD Monic and MOD Technology keep it rock solid and stable in any conditions you discover.

(1) The Line Celebrity
The Celebrity is famous for its smooth stable feel yet light and lively attitude. Paris Hilton is famous because she is dumber than anyone you've actually met in real life. What does that say about celebrity? Regardless, it’s super lightweight Poplar core and Carbon Matrix work together to provide light weight agility and precision like no other women’s ski. This is your quiver-of-one, enjoy!

(2) The Line Blend
Line has totally re-designed this ski from the ground up (typically a good place to start on a ski) to be the most versatile BLEND of freeride geometry and freestyle construction ever created. Get it, BLEND? I've capitalized it in case you couldn't figure out where the name came from. BLEND. There. Now you'll get it. Its BLEND of 100mm waist width, firm and reliable Freeride Flex pattern and G-cut geometry provides a BLEND of ultra responsive handling, smooth stability and full throttle power at all times. Or, at a BLEND of all times, as I like to say. BLEND this ski onto your boot and see what a 100mm waist ski can BLEND for BLEND. BLEND.

(1) The Nordica Men's Sport Machine
Featuring a Comfort Felt foot bed, Polyolefin shell and cuff, a Comfort Fit Heat Ready liner,and Natural Foot Stance technology, the Nordica Sport Machine couldn't sound more inviting if it was filled with clouds, cotton candy and hugs. Speaking of a Sport Machine, remember when George Michael's "Sports Machine" went off the air last year?



You know what my mom said? She told me not to worry, that he would be returning to TV for a cameo in "Eli Stone." Oh boy is that Johnny Lee Miller dreamy.

(2) The Nordica Women's Olympia Sport 8
Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I'm working on a deadline to get these descriptions done and I'm just not feelin' it today (read: I haven't been drinking yet), so here's the skinny on this intermediate women's ski: it has a comfort felt foot bed, 4 micro Sport Alu Mix buckles, a Polyolefin shell and cuff, Natural Foot Stance technology, velvet lining, and a Comfort W's Fit Heat Ready liner. Now... SKI PORN!!!